Over the past month, I have dreaded getting out of bed daily. The main reason for this is having to deal with Noah all day. Now, I know this sounds horrible, but his behavior has been horrible lately. All he does all day long is throw things over the banister and at people, as well as try to hit. He gets disciplined (such as time-outs and spankings), but he didn't care. My floor downstairs was covered in junk from all over the house, because it wasn't just Noah's stuff that he was throwing--it was whatever he could get his hands on. A lot of people would suggest taking the stuff away that he throws, but when it's Katie's stuff or Aidan's stuff, I can't do that. And I repeat, Noah would get punished, but it didn't phase him a bit.
On Sunday, Chris decided to completely clean the house. He knows I haven't been feeling great all month, so he figured he would help out. In the process, he took the trains off of Noah's train table and replaced them with his Disney Cars instead. He cleaned up all of the junk that was littering the floor downstairs and put everything away. When we went to Noah's room, he was happily playing with his cars. In fact, he let us play with him. On Monday, his behavior was different immediately. He kept pulling me into his room to play with him, and he threw only a couple of things. He was content almost all day.
Today was the big surprise. Once again, Noah was content when he got up this morning. He ate his breakfast and asked for seconds, which surprised me. We got dressed and played some, then went to the post office and dry cleaners. Today was speech therapy, so when Trip showed up, Noah decided to get right to work. Trip pulled out the Mr. Potato Head to go over body parts, and Noah quickly repeated each one. Then, Trip took out the picture cards and told Noah he was going to give him some new words today, the hardest words he has. Included in the words were nun, noon, pop, toot, tune, nine, etc. Noah easily repeated all of the words, with the exception of four. After that, Trip showed Noah some verbs and had him identify each action. Noah got all but one of them. We were beyond impressed. It just proves, once again, what we've thought--Noah knows his words, but for some reason, doesn't feel the need to use them.
We made it through the day without one item getting thrown or going to time out. He ate his breakfast and lunch well, and even said "More, please" when he gave me his sippy cup, asking for more milk. He has turned into an incredibly sweet, fun boy who is actually communicating with us. It really makes me wonder if he was feeling "neglected" before and was simply acting out as his way of communicating his needs. I hope we're in for much more of this behavior!
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
This and That
What a crazy couple of months we have had! We have finally almost finished painting the house--the only rooms left are the downstairs bathroom and the dining room. Unfortunately, we need the bathroom tiled before we can install the toilet, and we haven't had much luck getting Chris' friend, who promised to help us out, to actually help. We've replaced several light fixtures, and we finally have some art on the walls.
Katie's off to a fantastic start in second grade. Seriously, how can she be in second grade already?! So far, she's gotten all As on her assignments, so I hope she can continue with the good work. Lately, she's been wanting to read more than what is required nightly for school, so I hope she continues her love of books. Luckily, she makes friends easily, so she has become friends with several girls in the neighborhood and in her class. In fact, our next door neighbor is only a year older than Katie, and they have quickly become good friends.
Aidan is adjusting well to Pre-K. I must admit, I was worried about him. He can be kind of shy, and for the longest time, he would cry if any child came up and tried to play with him. However, he loves school and has made a couple of good friends, one of whom lives across the street from us. His name is Hayden, and he and Aidan rode bikes together in our driveway and on our sidewalk last Saturday. He always wants to do "homework", which are simply those activity books I found in the $1 section at Target that is geared for Pre-K--things like learning the beginning sounds of words and writing letters. He has become much more well-rounded lately. He is enjoying his Thomas trains again, as well as his Imaginext Batcave and playing Nintendo. He's asking to play t-ball again, which is perfect because Hayden plays t-ball and his dad is a coach, so Aidan will be very happy!
Noah has been a bit more of a challenge. Lately, he fights speech therapy and refuses to repeat anything for Trip. Instead, he will talk up a storm any other time, but it's only half in English. He has his own language, and I know he's telling me about his days because I catch familiar words mixed in with his words! However, this has been my most trying week with him. He has become very stubborn and determined to get his way, and he's actually quite strong. I don't know where he has learned this, but he pushes his siblings and will throw hard toys at us. Keep in mind, he only does this at home--he's great around other kids or adults! On Tuesday, I went into our utility closet to throw something away, and he slammed the door while my head got caught between the door and the door frame! Needless to say, it hurt for a long time, and though I rarely spank my children, he got two swats on his bottom and went to time out. Once my pain subsided, I talked with him and explained that he gave me a boo-boo and was not being a good boy. He decided to stay in his room for an hour more. I am at my wit's end. I must admit, I am at a complete loss with how to discipline Noah. When he gets into a stubborn mood, he cannot be reasoned with. He will cry if one of his siblings, in trying to play with him, plays with any of his toys because he thinks they are taking his things. Any advice on discipling Noah is appreciated. He will stay in time out, but I'm not sure how much of an effect it has on him, you know? Every time he hits, he goes to time out, but we are still having the same behavior.
Chris and I have been working a lot lately. I've been helping out at Van Adams Jewelers, but Chris and I have also been helping Van get his rental house cleaned and ready to sell. His ex-wife used to live in the house and completely destroyed the place--we've been tearing and scraping wallpaper, scrubbing the bathrooms and kitchen, scrubbing doors and baseboards, and we will help paint. Van is getting new carpet and a kitchen floor, since a leaky sink destroyed the hardwood in the kitchen--such a shame. We're doing this to help Van and also to earn some extra money to fix up our own house.
Peaches has been enjoying having a fenced in yard and loves playing ball outside. Unfortunately, she got into some mouse bait that was hidden the garage, so she's currently at an emergency vet with Chris. Luckily, Chris knew immediately what she was playing with, so he took her in. They've induced her to vomit, and we're hoping she can make a full recovery. Chris mentioned that he's getting rid of the bait when he gets home--it's just not worth it. He had our exterminator set the bait just in case there were unwelcome guests who made our garage their home while the house was vacant--not that we've seen any, thank goodness. Please keep Peaches in your prayers--she's such a sweet, loyal girl who loves the kids as though they were her own, and whose been there for us when we need her.
Katie's off to a fantastic start in second grade. Seriously, how can she be in second grade already?! So far, she's gotten all As on her assignments, so I hope she can continue with the good work. Lately, she's been wanting to read more than what is required nightly for school, so I hope she continues her love of books. Luckily, she makes friends easily, so she has become friends with several girls in the neighborhood and in her class. In fact, our next door neighbor is only a year older than Katie, and they have quickly become good friends.
Aidan is adjusting well to Pre-K. I must admit, I was worried about him. He can be kind of shy, and for the longest time, he would cry if any child came up and tried to play with him. However, he loves school and has made a couple of good friends, one of whom lives across the street from us. His name is Hayden, and he and Aidan rode bikes together in our driveway and on our sidewalk last Saturday. He always wants to do "homework", which are simply those activity books I found in the $1 section at Target that is geared for Pre-K--things like learning the beginning sounds of words and writing letters. He has become much more well-rounded lately. He is enjoying his Thomas trains again, as well as his Imaginext Batcave and playing Nintendo. He's asking to play t-ball again, which is perfect because Hayden plays t-ball and his dad is a coach, so Aidan will be very happy!
Noah has been a bit more of a challenge. Lately, he fights speech therapy and refuses to repeat anything for Trip. Instead, he will talk up a storm any other time, but it's only half in English. He has his own language, and I know he's telling me about his days because I catch familiar words mixed in with his words! However, this has been my most trying week with him. He has become very stubborn and determined to get his way, and he's actually quite strong. I don't know where he has learned this, but he pushes his siblings and will throw hard toys at us. Keep in mind, he only does this at home--he's great around other kids or adults! On Tuesday, I went into our utility closet to throw something away, and he slammed the door while my head got caught between the door and the door frame! Needless to say, it hurt for a long time, and though I rarely spank my children, he got two swats on his bottom and went to time out. Once my pain subsided, I talked with him and explained that he gave me a boo-boo and was not being a good boy. He decided to stay in his room for an hour more. I am at my wit's end. I must admit, I am at a complete loss with how to discipline Noah. When he gets into a stubborn mood, he cannot be reasoned with. He will cry if one of his siblings, in trying to play with him, plays with any of his toys because he thinks they are taking his things. Any advice on discipling Noah is appreciated. He will stay in time out, but I'm not sure how much of an effect it has on him, you know? Every time he hits, he goes to time out, but we are still having the same behavior.
Chris and I have been working a lot lately. I've been helping out at Van Adams Jewelers, but Chris and I have also been helping Van get his rental house cleaned and ready to sell. His ex-wife used to live in the house and completely destroyed the place--we've been tearing and scraping wallpaper, scrubbing the bathrooms and kitchen, scrubbing doors and baseboards, and we will help paint. Van is getting new carpet and a kitchen floor, since a leaky sink destroyed the hardwood in the kitchen--such a shame. We're doing this to help Van and also to earn some extra money to fix up our own house.
Peaches has been enjoying having a fenced in yard and loves playing ball outside. Unfortunately, she got into some mouse bait that was hidden the garage, so she's currently at an emergency vet with Chris. Luckily, Chris knew immediately what she was playing with, so he took her in. They've induced her to vomit, and we're hoping she can make a full recovery. Chris mentioned that he's getting rid of the bait when he gets home--it's just not worth it. He had our exterminator set the bait just in case there were unwelcome guests who made our garage their home while the house was vacant--not that we've seen any, thank goodness. Please keep Peaches in your prayers--she's such a sweet, loyal girl who loves the kids as though they were her own, and whose been there for us when we need her.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tantrums
The move has been hard on all of us. Katie and Aidan have both given us behavioral issues. However, it's Noah that's given us the most trouble. Before the beach, he was very laid-back and fun to be around. Lately, it's been horrible. Every time we leave the house, he will throw a tantrum. He has to help open the car door and close the car door. If we go to a place, such as Target, that has automatic doors, he will refuse to come inside until HE opens the door. If we don't understand what he wants, he will literally forget every word and begin screaming at the top of his lungs. He will scream so loudly that my ears occasionally begin ringing now, even when he's not around. I am at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do to keep him happy, but more than anything, I just want him to communicate his needs to me. I don't want him to melt down over everything.
Today, Noah had a good day. We went to the post office, and he was sweet. He stood still and talked a little bit. Our tire went flat yesterday as soon as we arrived at a birthday party, so we had to get two new tires this afternoon. As we entered the store, Noah tripped and skinned his right knee. I tried to bandage it up, but he screamed and would not let me help him. I got him to relax, and I told him that if he was a good boy, we would get a treat. He repeated "good boy", and calmed down. After nearly 2 hours, the car was fixed, so we stopped by Steak 'n Shake for a grilled cheese, one of Noah's favs! We had to go to Publix next, and I asked him to be a good boy again. We walked calmly into Publix, got one of the carts he can "drive", and though he nearly melted down because he couldn't open the door from inside the cart, he quickly calmed down and he got a chocolate chip cookie. When the baker handed him the cookie, he smiled and said "Thank you!" The baker grinned. The rest of our trip was uneventful, and we managed an outing without much crying.
On Saturday, though, Noah melted numerous times. We went to Lowe's first, and there is something about Lowe's that Noah does not like. He screams bloody murder when he walks in the door. He was buckled into his stroller, but he managed to wriggle enough that he almost fell out, head first, during his fit. We went to Kohl's next, and once again, he screamed and cried. Payless was the same, and so was Target. We were exhausted and have no idea how to help him control these tantrums.
Aidan went through a similar phase, and outgrew it after about 6 months. 6 months is a LONG time.....................
Today, Noah had a good day. We went to the post office, and he was sweet. He stood still and talked a little bit. Our tire went flat yesterday as soon as we arrived at a birthday party, so we had to get two new tires this afternoon. As we entered the store, Noah tripped and skinned his right knee. I tried to bandage it up, but he screamed and would not let me help him. I got him to relax, and I told him that if he was a good boy, we would get a treat. He repeated "good boy", and calmed down. After nearly 2 hours, the car was fixed, so we stopped by Steak 'n Shake for a grilled cheese, one of Noah's favs! We had to go to Publix next, and I asked him to be a good boy again. We walked calmly into Publix, got one of the carts he can "drive", and though he nearly melted down because he couldn't open the door from inside the cart, he quickly calmed down and he got a chocolate chip cookie. When the baker handed him the cookie, he smiled and said "Thank you!" The baker grinned. The rest of our trip was uneventful, and we managed an outing without much crying.
On Saturday, though, Noah melted numerous times. We went to Lowe's first, and there is something about Lowe's that Noah does not like. He screams bloody murder when he walks in the door. He was buckled into his stroller, but he managed to wriggle enough that he almost fell out, head first, during his fit. We went to Kohl's next, and once again, he screamed and cried. Payless was the same, and so was Target. We were exhausted and have no idea how to help him control these tantrums.
Aidan went through a similar phase, and outgrew it after about 6 months. 6 months is a LONG time.....................
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Polite
Noah and I skipped ST this past week. We rarely cancel, but we had a playdate at the zoo with some friends, and I think exposing Noah (and the other kids) to as many kids as possible is just as beneficial as ST, and Tripp understood. My kids had a blast at the zoo--Katie had never been before, and even though Aidan and Noah have been before, they still enjoyed it immensely. While we were at the zoo, I was dreading taking Noah out of his stroller. We've been going through power struggles lately when it comes to Noah sitting in the stroller, and I figured the zoo would be horrible. Oddly enough, I was willing to let Noah walk, and he requested to get back into his stroller! One of the big differences in Noah vs. the other kids around his age is that they tend to tell their moms what they want, and their moms ask them what they want. I realized that this is my fault--I had assumed that Noah couldn't speak much that I didn't need to ask him what he wanted to do. Several of my friends also have speech-delayed children, yet they do still included their kids in decisions. I made it my mission to focus on asking Noah his preferences this week.
As I started asking Noah questions, he began answering me. One aspect of parenthood that I have always focused on as my children began speaking was being polite. I try to always ask my kids to please do something, and then I thank them. As a result, Katie, and especially Aidan, are fairly polite. I mean, they're still kids, so they can be demanding, but overall, they understand that I am more willing to comply to a request if they are polite. Well, I began asking Noah to please sit in his car seat. Surprisingly, he began happily climbing in and letting me buckle him up! But the biggest surprise was when I thanked him--he said "You're welcome"! As the week progressed, he's been saying thank you to me when I give him his sippy cup, when I give him food he wants, or when I put him in a shopping cart or stroller. If I tell him thank you for behaving, he will always reply with "You're welcome".
On Friday, I had a bad day and desperately needed some intense retail therapy. We went to MOG, and Noah climbed into his stroller easily and told me "You're welcome" when I thanked him for behaving. After buying some things at Old Navy, Bath and Body Works, and Yankee Candle, we went to the soft playground. I let the kids play for about 45 min., and when it was time to leave, all three of them easily left, and Noah easily got back into the stroller!! I was beyond amazed! Maybe I've been making things harder than they had to be..............
Needless to say, I have learned an important lesson about communicating with Noah. Even though we skipped ST, he has come a long way in a week!f
As I started asking Noah questions, he began answering me. One aspect of parenthood that I have always focused on as my children began speaking was being polite. I try to always ask my kids to please do something, and then I thank them. As a result, Katie, and especially Aidan, are fairly polite. I mean, they're still kids, so they can be demanding, but overall, they understand that I am more willing to comply to a request if they are polite. Well, I began asking Noah to please sit in his car seat. Surprisingly, he began happily climbing in and letting me buckle him up! But the biggest surprise was when I thanked him--he said "You're welcome"! As the week progressed, he's been saying thank you to me when I give him his sippy cup, when I give him food he wants, or when I put him in a shopping cart or stroller. If I tell him thank you for behaving, he will always reply with "You're welcome".
On Friday, I had a bad day and desperately needed some intense retail therapy. We went to MOG, and Noah climbed into his stroller easily and told me "You're welcome" when I thanked him for behaving. After buying some things at Old Navy, Bath and Body Works, and Yankee Candle, we went to the soft playground. I let the kids play for about 45 min., and when it was time to leave, all three of them easily left, and Noah easily got back into the stroller!! I was beyond amazed! Maybe I've been making things harder than they had to be..............
Needless to say, I have learned an important lesson about communicating with Noah. Even though we skipped ST, he has come a long way in a week!f
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Breakthrough
Every once in awhile, my kids will really surprise me. Chris and I are working through situations with each child. Sometimes, we get instant gratification with our efforts, but most of the time, we don't reap the benefits until months later.
Katie can be a great big sister, when she wants to be! Unfortunately, she seems to enjoy causing trouble more than being a good example. Katie is really smart, though. Since this is my blog, I figure I can brag just a little. This past year in school (first grade), Katie got all As the entire year and scored in exceeding expectations on her CRCT standardized test. Unfortunately, she gets bored, which can cause trouble at home. Today, she had her friend Lindsay come over. Katie and Aidan constantly disagree on certain things, but one thing Katie really was looking forward to was watching a Hannah Montana this afternoon. As it turns out, Lindsay wasn't really a fan of the show, so I was surprised (and proud) that Katie hid her disappointment and watched another show, a show that I thought everyone might like. It can't be easy to have one's hopes set high only to be knocked down. She handled it very maturely--and it made me realize just how much she's grown up.
Aidan's issue is potty training. He pees in the potty like a big boy--he even stands. Unfortunately, pooping is another issue. For some reason, he's always been scared of pooping the potty. We even have had to take him to CHOA for an impacted stool. It was obvious he needed to poop today--he had to change underwear and he whined a lot. When Chris came home, he offered Aidan $1 to poop in the potty. For some reason, that really motivated Aidan, and sure enough, he obliged! Obviously, we are not above bribes!
Chris has really worked with Noah on getting him dressed. Noah used to really fight getting dressed. As he was getting his bath, he decided he wanted to hold onto my pajamas, which are kind of a safety blanket for him. I told him he may hold them, but not in the tub. Noah was not pleased with me, and proceed to throw a bit of a tantrum. I ended up holding the pajamas close to the tub, just out of his reach, and that seemed to satisfy him. Eventually, Noah decided to try to grab the pjs, to which I responded with a stern "no". I told him once again that he could hold them once he was finished with his bath. He stuck out his lower lip, but held his arms up, telling me he was ready to get out. As I dried him off, he got my pjs, and directly laid down and did not move while I dressed him. I was amazed! Apparently, he got the message that he got what he wanted if he cooperated!
Of course, who knows what tomorrow will bring..... :)
Katie can be a great big sister, when she wants to be! Unfortunately, she seems to enjoy causing trouble more than being a good example. Katie is really smart, though. Since this is my blog, I figure I can brag just a little. This past year in school (first grade), Katie got all As the entire year and scored in exceeding expectations on her CRCT standardized test. Unfortunately, she gets bored, which can cause trouble at home. Today, she had her friend Lindsay come over. Katie and Aidan constantly disagree on certain things, but one thing Katie really was looking forward to was watching a Hannah Montana this afternoon. As it turns out, Lindsay wasn't really a fan of the show, so I was surprised (and proud) that Katie hid her disappointment and watched another show, a show that I thought everyone might like. It can't be easy to have one's hopes set high only to be knocked down. She handled it very maturely--and it made me realize just how much she's grown up.
Aidan's issue is potty training. He pees in the potty like a big boy--he even stands. Unfortunately, pooping is another issue. For some reason, he's always been scared of pooping the potty. We even have had to take him to CHOA for an impacted stool. It was obvious he needed to poop today--he had to change underwear and he whined a lot. When Chris came home, he offered Aidan $1 to poop in the potty. For some reason, that really motivated Aidan, and sure enough, he obliged! Obviously, we are not above bribes!
Chris has really worked with Noah on getting him dressed. Noah used to really fight getting dressed. As he was getting his bath, he decided he wanted to hold onto my pajamas, which are kind of a safety blanket for him. I told him he may hold them, but not in the tub. Noah was not pleased with me, and proceed to throw a bit of a tantrum. I ended up holding the pajamas close to the tub, just out of his reach, and that seemed to satisfy him. Eventually, Noah decided to try to grab the pjs, to which I responded with a stern "no". I told him once again that he could hold them once he was finished with his bath. He stuck out his lower lip, but held his arms up, telling me he was ready to get out. As I dried him off, he got my pjs, and directly laid down and did not move while I dressed him. I was amazed! Apparently, he got the message that he got what he wanted if he cooperated!
Of course, who knows what tomorrow will bring..... :)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Bubble Boy
When I was growing up, I thought adults had it made. After all, they were the ones who could eat whatever they wanted, buy anything, stay up late, and tv whenever. As a child, I felt that my parents were extremely strict--I couldn't date until I was 16, I couldn't pierce my ears until I was 18, I couldn't ride in friends' cars, etc. However, one of the main points I remember from my childhood was the introduction of Nintendo. We had an Atari, and my parents never upgraded to the brand-new Nintendo. How cool was it to visit my friend's house and play with Mario, Luigi, and the gang? Honestly, I don't remember if I ever asked for a Nintendo, but it seemed like all of my friends had one. Above all, I'm not sure why I cared--I've always been horrible at video games! When I met Chris, he had a Nintendo 64, and we had a blast playing Mario Kart on it. Since we've been married, Chris has begun selling video games and systems online for extra income, and at times, the income has been better than his "real" job! I mean, that's how we survived when he was unemployed for 8 months right after Noah's birth.
I always knew my kids would get interested in video games--I mean, we have dozens of systems and hundreds of games in our garage for sale on Amazon! When Katie was 5, Santa brought her a pink Nintendo DS. Chris and I debated if she was old enough to handle it, and she proved that, not only was she responsible enough to take care of it, she did not play it excessively. That's one thing I've alway prided myself on as a mother. I am a firm believer that most things should not be off limits to kids, but instead should be offered in moderation. Case in point--my kids are not told that they can NEVER have Coke to drink. Instead, they know they get Coke on special occasions, such as at a birthday party. If something is off limits, that simply makes the object more desirable. I feel the same way about tv--the kids are allowed to watch it for an alloted amount of time daily, and for the most part, we stick to it. Therefore, my kids understand (and learned at an early age) that they must decide what show(s) are most important, and decide how to spend their time.
Since Katie was so responsible with her DS, we decided to get a red and black DS for his fourth birthday. Almost immediately, we learned the error of our decision. His love for Thomas the Tank Engine and Super Hero Squad diminished as he spent more and more time on his beloved DS. Soon, Chris set up a Nintendo 64 for the kids, so I felt like Aidan was constantly playing video games. Something had to change, and it had to change fast! We tried setting time limits for playing video games, but it was difficult, if not impossible, to enforce. We tried making Aidan earn time by doing well on his behavior chart (more on that in another post), but that didn't work, either. Eventually, Chris moved the 64 to the family room so that I could monitor the time more easily. I have finally worked out a system that works very well for us. Any time Aidan wants to play video games, I set the timer in 30 min. intervals, and he does very well by turning off the tv when the timer goes off. He is playing with other toys again, and I don't have such angst with the video games.
However, as with every issue, there is a silver lining to Aidan's love of video games. He and Chris have recently really bonded over playing Super Mario Wii in the evenings. Oddly enough, the Wii has brought my family together in a way I would never have imagined. As soon as Chris gets home, Aidan runs up to his daddy and asks to play with him. Chris and Aidan turn on the tv, and Noah runs into the family room and intently watches. Katie proudly tries to coax Aidan along in the game.
The funniest part about Chris and Aidan playing the Wii is that Aidan is obviously not as skilled as Chris. Chris is always Mario, and Aidan is usually Toad. Well, the Super Mario Wii has a new feature for a 2-player game. If one player is in trouble, they can "bubble up", which means they can't be killed. For about 75% of the time, Toad is in the bubble, so Aidan's new nickname is Bubble Boy! Aidan thinks it's hilarious, and everyone in the family will joke about Bubble Boy.
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