This past Tuesday, Noah had his last speech therapy session with Trip. He's come such a long way with his speech. Noah will try to say new words almost daily--elephant, ornament, and train track are just a sample of his new vocabulary. Though he did not cooperate on Tuesday, I do feel confident in our decision to discontinue speech for the time being. His vocabulary is exploding, and we know how to encourage his speech. If we decide that his is not progressing, we can opt to begin therapy for him again.
It was a bittersweet day. When I think back to his pediatrician first recommending ST, I was very much against it. Noah didn't seem delayed to me, or to Chris. We gradually opened up to the idea of ST, and we got a wonderful speech therapist in Trip. Noah formed a bond with him, and mostly cooperated during his sessions. He has learned to assert himself with his siblings, and though he may get on a tangent and babble in his own language, at least he is attempting to communicate his needs. And the word "no" has become a staple in his vocabulary, especially when it comes to bedtime!
For now, we are going to remain optimistic about his speech, and pray that he will continue to make great strides in acheiving his goals!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
'Tis the Season...
After such a horrible November, I was hopeful that December might bring a bit of comfort and joy to us. I had my post-op on Dec. 3. As I was waiting for an entire hour to see the doctor, my mind began to wrap around the situation from November. I am fairly certain I know why God chose for me to get pregnant and then to lose the pregnacy. Well, that may be a bit forward for me to claim to know the mysterious ways that God works, but I have a few guesses.
To begin with, I think this may have happened to help Chris and me really communicate. With three small children and work, we often get so wrapped up in life that we forget to communicate with one another. The day of my post-op, three weeks since my D&C, we finally talked about the miscarriage for the first time. We may not have reached any conclusions, but we did finally talk about things. Chris did not respond well when he found out I was pregnant. I was shocked, but ultimately, I was extremely happy and excited. I felt fulfilled, something I had been missing recently. As I learned the fate of the pregnancy, subconsiously, I blamed Chris. Naturally, I knew he didn't want the miscarriage, but in my state of hormones, I felt the need to blame someone. He didn't want to talk about the miscarriage because he knew that I might be feeling this way. Truthfully, he doesn't want more children. I, on the other hand, desperately want one more child. My baby fever was bad before, but it is off the charts now. Have we figured out our differences on this matter? Absolutely not. However, he did agree to talk about having another child once he finds a new job, hopefully soon after the New Year. I can accept that, and I can respect that. However, my dr. seemed to think we might do well seeking professional help. We both declined, because her reason for suggesting it was unfounded. My dr. suggested counciling because Chris and I weren't talking about the miscarriage, but what she didn't realize was that we couldn't talk--two days after the surgery, Chris lost his grandmother and went to Arkansas for the funeral. After he came home, Katie ended up very sick, and then I got sick. By the time I was better, it was time to see the dr. So, in a nutshell, we have opted to not seek professional counciling at the time, mostly because we finally able to process things.
Another reason I believe this happened was to provide support for my friends. One of my high school friends discovered that she was pregnant a few weeks after I did, and she was only a week behind me. She goes to my OB, and her ultrasound was only days after mine. I found on Thursday that my babies had passed, and she discovered the following Monday that her baby had passed as well. The bond that has formed between us has been amazing. She had her D&C only one day after I had mine. Through our darkest, loneliest days, we had each other for support, and I truly believe that has helped me through this time. As well-meaning as friends and family are, the only person who can truly relate is someone who has gone through a very similar situation. During those first hard weeks, we constantly messaged one another and cried to each other, both of us longing for our angel babies. As we've fought through difficult situations, we can express our sadness at seeing other pregnant women, longing for what we had mere weeks ago. When our husbands cannot understand why we burst into tears for no reason, we lean on one another for support. As well, I have another friend who had lost a baby in the summer due to an ectopic pregnancy. She miraculously became pregnant again and was due a couple weeks after I was, but she lost this baby at 11 weeks as well. We have created such a support group for one another. Another one of my good friends sent me a gift simply to cheer me up. I am beyond blessed to have such supportive friends and family.
I also believe God must have a great plan for my future. I pray that he will bless us with one more child, but I think he must've realized that I had begun to lose my way, and this was his way of snapping me back to reality. I did not pray as much as I should've. I would call on God for favors, but did I talk to him to thank him for my blessings?
There is not a doubt in my mind that 2011 will bring it's share of good times and bad, but I pray I can see the silver lining as I continue this long journey of healing.
To begin with, I think this may have happened to help Chris and me really communicate. With three small children and work, we often get so wrapped up in life that we forget to communicate with one another. The day of my post-op, three weeks since my D&C, we finally talked about the miscarriage for the first time. We may not have reached any conclusions, but we did finally talk about things. Chris did not respond well when he found out I was pregnant. I was shocked, but ultimately, I was extremely happy and excited. I felt fulfilled, something I had been missing recently. As I learned the fate of the pregnancy, subconsiously, I blamed Chris. Naturally, I knew he didn't want the miscarriage, but in my state of hormones, I felt the need to blame someone. He didn't want to talk about the miscarriage because he knew that I might be feeling this way. Truthfully, he doesn't want more children. I, on the other hand, desperately want one more child. My baby fever was bad before, but it is off the charts now. Have we figured out our differences on this matter? Absolutely not. However, he did agree to talk about having another child once he finds a new job, hopefully soon after the New Year. I can accept that, and I can respect that. However, my dr. seemed to think we might do well seeking professional help. We both declined, because her reason for suggesting it was unfounded. My dr. suggested counciling because Chris and I weren't talking about the miscarriage, but what she didn't realize was that we couldn't talk--two days after the surgery, Chris lost his grandmother and went to Arkansas for the funeral. After he came home, Katie ended up very sick, and then I got sick. By the time I was better, it was time to see the dr. So, in a nutshell, we have opted to not seek professional counciling at the time, mostly because we finally able to process things.
Another reason I believe this happened was to provide support for my friends. One of my high school friends discovered that she was pregnant a few weeks after I did, and she was only a week behind me. She goes to my OB, and her ultrasound was only days after mine. I found on Thursday that my babies had passed, and she discovered the following Monday that her baby had passed as well. The bond that has formed between us has been amazing. She had her D&C only one day after I had mine. Through our darkest, loneliest days, we had each other for support, and I truly believe that has helped me through this time. As well-meaning as friends and family are, the only person who can truly relate is someone who has gone through a very similar situation. During those first hard weeks, we constantly messaged one another and cried to each other, both of us longing for our angel babies. As we've fought through difficult situations, we can express our sadness at seeing other pregnant women, longing for what we had mere weeks ago. When our husbands cannot understand why we burst into tears for no reason, we lean on one another for support. As well, I have another friend who had lost a baby in the summer due to an ectopic pregnancy. She miraculously became pregnant again and was due a couple weeks after I was, but she lost this baby at 11 weeks as well. We have created such a support group for one another. Another one of my good friends sent me a gift simply to cheer me up. I am beyond blessed to have such supportive friends and family.
I also believe God must have a great plan for my future. I pray that he will bless us with one more child, but I think he must've realized that I had begun to lose my way, and this was his way of snapping me back to reality. I did not pray as much as I should've. I would call on God for favors, but did I talk to him to thank him for my blessings?
There is not a doubt in my mind that 2011 will bring it's share of good times and bad, but I pray I can see the silver lining as I continue this long journey of healing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)