As women, we experience things that guys simply don't have to put up with. If a guy is getting gray, he looks distinguished, but if a woman goes gray, she's simply just getting old. If a man waits until his 40s to get married, he's just having fun, but if a woman waits that long, she's past her peak. If a man gains weight, it's simply overlooked. However, if a woman pops out three kids and is no longer a size zero, then everyone assumes that she is pregnant simply because she has a belly. At least, this has been my experience. I've been working a lot at Van Adams lately, and the amount of clueless people that ask me if I'm pregnant has become irritating. Granted, I've let myself go a bit this past year. Losing the babies put me in a funk, and I haven't been taking great care of myself, but I don't think that a size 6 is any cause for me to feel self-conscious about my weight. However, my self-image has taken a drastic downward turn lately due to clueless people.
The very first time someone asked me if I was pregnant when I wasn't was in Douglasville. I was working at BOA at the time, and a man asked if I was pregnant. I wasn't, but I did get preggo with Noah shortly after that. Last summer, a vendor at Van's asked if I was preggo, and when I told him no, he was mortified and gave me numerous Starbuck's gift cards to apologize. Once again, shortly thereafter, I was preggo. A couple of weeks ago, a lady at Van's asked when I was due. When I told her I wasn't expecting, she apologized and clearly felt bad. I was not pleased, but I do realize that I have a belly. The very next morning, as Chris and I got breakfast, the owner asked if I had had the baby yet. The sent me to car in tears. A couple of days after that, a man at Van's asked when the baby was due. I was more than annoyed and told him that not only was I not pregnant but that I obviously need to lose weight. Today, it happened again. A good customer (an older lady--she should know better) got all excited and said how lucky I was to be expecting. Now I'm humilitated and feel like I can't go out in public. Most of my belly is extra skin--I've popped out TWO 9 pound boys! Not only that, but no matter what I wear, I get asked about my belly. I can wear tighter clothes and get asked, or I can wear lose clothes and get asked. It truly makes me not want to leave my house.
I've decided people are clueless, because I'm not the only one getting asked when I'm expecting. I blame the media. I mean, celebrities can pop out babies and have personal trainers to whip them into shape in just a couple of months, and they can afford tummy tucks. The average mother cannot get her shape back, let alone afford a tummy tuck. Therefore, peoples' images of women have them believing that their bellies should be flat. If they aren't, then surely the women are expecting. It's a twisted opinion, and very damaging to self-esteem. No wonder girls are anorexic, and no wonder women suffer from low self-esteem.
I have been working out nearly every day, desperately trying to firm up my belly. I know I'm out-of-shape, and I want to look and feel healthy. I also want the general public to wake up and think before they speak! How would they feel I asked them the same question? If I am blessed enough to be expecting again, then trust me, I will be shouting it at the top of my lungs! But until that day arrives, please be advised: No, I'm not pregnant, and if you're smart, you won't ask! (I read this on a t-shirt someone had made up because she was tired of being asked the same question!)
