Bittersweet

Usually, when school first gets out, I wonder how in the world I'm going to entertain all 3 children daily.  After about a week, though, we all adjust and it all becomes natural.  About 3 weeks prior to school starting, we are all ready for school to begin again.  This summer, however, felt very short.  I'm not sure if it was because I was working some and therefore had fewer days with the kids, but this summer felt short.  Also, I will admit that I was dreading Noah beginning Pre-K.  He's my baby--I've had a child at home all day every day for the past 9 years.  It's scary territory knowing that I would not have a child around for part of my day. 

Katie is now in fourth grade.  That's so hard to believe and very tough to admit that I have a child who will be in middle school in two years.  Two years is not a long time...though I used to believe that it was!  So far, she seems to be enjoying school, as she has several of her friends in her class this year.  She is quite smart, but in third grade, she did not apply herself as much as she should have.  She's also a Mountain View Bears cheerleader!  I've never seen her so excited as she is cheering!

Aidan is now in first grade.  It's hard to believe that two years ago, he was just starting Pre-K, and now he's in first grade!  His teacher seems very nice, and I'm hopeful that his year in first grade will be just as wonderful as his kindergarten year.  He learned so much, and he loves school.  He's also in PeeWee baseball now--no more tees for him!

It was really tough for me to take Noah to Pre-K.  With Noah's speech delay, I wasn't sure how it would all work out for him.  He is very friendly (and social), but it was difficult for me to let him go.  Noah may not have the same amount of speech as a typical 4-year-old, but he's so endearing.  Not only that, but he does know his letters, his numbers, and his name.  What he lacks in speech he makes up for in knowledge.  I am excited to see how he progresses this year.  Also, he's in t-ball for the first time (he was in pre-t last season), and he's making some progress in his game.

It's really tough watching your children grow up--a lot more difficult than I ever could've imaged prior to having children!

Apraxia?

It's been awhile since I've written anything on this blog!!! We've stayed busy, and the kids are doing well. Today Aidan and Noah had their well child visits with their doctor. Aidan is in the 25% percentile for both height and weight. He's doing well--the doctor told him that if he can't learn to control his behavior, then he can speak with someone. Aidan is a model student in school and baseball--he NEVER, EVER gets into trouble, and his teachers wish all of their students were like him. At home, though, he's been melting down. He will wrestle with his brother, talk back, and generally being a pain to be around. We've tried punishments and rewards, but nothing has been working. The doctor said a lot of it is his age, and told him that if he feels himself melting down, then he needs to recognize it and calmly go do something quiet until he calms down. She doesn't think he has any behavioral problems--I don't, either, but it's get old very quickly having him get into trouble nightly at home! He really is a sweet, caring boy, but he's got to stop melting down at home!

Noah is in the 75% percentile for height and weight--what a big boy he has always been! He was very good for his appointment, as he did exactly what he was asked. However, he wouldn't tell the dr. when he heard a beep for his hearing test. The dr. and I discussed Noah's speech, and she did a few speech tests on him. It's obvious he knows his shapes and colors, so she tested him. She agrees that he is very social, and most certainly not on the austism spectrum, which is wonderful news. However, she did suggest that he may have apraxia. I actually think someone has finally hit the nail on the head! Chris and I have always said that Noah knows exactly what you are saying, but he can't seem to communicate back. Noah is getting a referral to an audiologist to retest his hearing, as he has to pass for his school forms. Also, we absolutely have to get Noah back into speech therapy. I've done a bit of research on apraxia, and some things sound right on target. It's as if Noah wants to answer, but he can't find the word he's searching for. I hope and pray we can get some real answers soon--I can't wait until the day that Noah can carry on a true conversation with me!

Sweet Summertime

It's been awhile since I've written. After such a busy spring, summer and the laziness that has ensued has hindered my writing. Actually, I think I've had a bit of postpartum depression. Yes, it is entirely possible to have postpartum depression after a pregnancy loss, just as it's possible after having a live baby. Spring kept me busy and allowed me to focus on many things, but when it all ended, I crashed emotionally. I have not been to a doctor or anything. However, I am finally allowing myself to think about what all happened, and I'm still trying to find peace with it. Though I am thrilled for any others who are pregnant or just had a baby, I mourn for my own loss each time a new pregnancy or birth is announced.

However, enough about me. The kids are out of school, of course. Katie and Aidan had a blast at VBS this summer, in which the theme was Galactic Blast. I'll post about our vacation to Myrtle Beach soon. This week, Aidan is at baseball camp with Jack City Sports Center. He's loving it so far! It's hard to believe the beginning of the school year is just a few short weeks away! Katie's ballet will begin the week school begins, and baseball begins in late August.

Noah's speech is getting better, but we are still debating putting him back into ST. My uncle is actually a professional when it comes to speech, and my dad discussed Noah's speech with him. I'm thrilled to say that my uncle, who is very familiar with austism, agrees that Noah does not appear to be on the austism spectrum at all. My uncle suggested a specific, rare form of speech therapy that he believes would be beneficial for Noah, and we are looking into it. I'm not sure if insurance will cover it or not. However, I feel confident that Noah will soon get the ST he needs and will hopefully become a chatterbox!

Busy Spring...

Things have been more than a little bit crazy around our house lately. Our days are full, as well as our evenings, and though the sun is staying out later, my days seem shorter than ever.

Noah is absolutely communicating far better. He answers questions now, and it is obvious he completely understands what he is being told. His vocabulary continues to increase as well. He is finally beginning to start his sentences with "I" when he wants something. However, the most interesting new activity for Noah is t-ball! He's been enthusiatically watching Aidan's baseball games, and after practice, Noah loves run the bases. We are thinking of enrolling him in spring t-ball, as we hear they are far less competitive during the fall. Also, he is still using the potty very well, but I've gotten a bit lazy and need to finish training him.

Katie is about to have her ballet recital! She's done extremely well with ballet this year--well enough to get moved up to the next level next year. She still hasn't decided if she's going to take ballet again, but I really hope she will. It's difficult to process that she's almost done with second grade! I am not ready for her to begin third grade next year!! Katie really enjoyed her swimming lessons last year, so we are going to let her take some more lessons this year from Swim Atlanta.

Aidan's schedule has been the craziest of all! He has really enjoyed playing baseball with the Dacula Braves this spring, and his team was undefeated for the first 8 games!! Aidan's enjoying baseball so much that we are going to enroll him in a baseball camp this summer at a local sports center called Jack City. They have both an indoor and outdoor field, so he won't have to endure 100* temps for his camp. Also, so many of the boys on his team have taken private lessons at Jack City, so I think we might sign him up for a couple of those as well. I also just registered him for kindergarten next year--I'm not ready for this! His PreK graduation is next week, and it will be bittersweet for sure.

Chris and I have both been working some crazy hours at Van Adams lately. Mother's Day was insanely busy there, which is great, but wore us out! I'm working another full week this week, so the extra money is great, but I have had to let some things go around the house. I've also begun making cakes for some extra money. One of my friends is going to create a website for me, and I hope I can eventually get to the point that I make at least one cake per week.

Mother's Day was enjoyable. We ate lunch with my parents and my sister Ruth, and we went to Red Lobster. The kids did surprisingly well there, and ate just about everything between the 3 of them! Katie made me a sweet card with tea attached to it, and Aidan painted me a wooden jewelry box and made a beaded bracelet to go inside of it. I also got a rose from Aidan's baseball team, flowers, Godiva chocolates, and some shopping money! I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit wistful on Mother's Day--I was truly missing my twins, as I am quickly approaching what would've been my due date, May 28. Just as I think I'm getting better, something reminds me of the babies and I often get lonely for them.

Summer will be here before we know it!

Well Check-Ups

Today, Aidan and Noah went to the dr. for well child visits. I had delayed taking Noah so that I could get two done at once. Our new insurance has kicked in, so my copay was less, which was nice. Aidan was worried he'd have to get a shot today, but I wasn't sure if would have to. Noah, on the other hand, would definately have to get a couple of shots.

It began calmly. Chris was off today, so we all headed to the pediatrician's office. The nurse got the weight and height of the boys--Aidan is 42 inches tall and 37 lbs, while Noah is 39.5 inches tall and 35 lbs. No wonder people think they boys are twins! Aidan had to have a hearing and vision screening for school, but he still didn't want to cooperate. Poor Noah had to get his thumb pricked so they could do some blood work on him, and he screamed bloody murder! While the nurse went to get the dr., Aidan decided to cooperate on the vision screening, so we all watched as he passed with flying colors. Once Dr. M came in, though, things got a bit hairy. Aidan did ok for his exam, but he was still afraid he'd get a shot. Noah watched with wonder as Aidan had his exam. Then it was Noah's turn, but Noah did not like that idea at all. Dr. M was patient with him, and he finally calmed down for his exam. Next, we had a nice chat about eating habits and Noah's speech. As we discussed Noah's speech, we briefly touched on what could be causing his speech delay. Dr. M hestitantly said there is a slight possiblity he has autism. She didn't want to even say it, because she doesn't really think this is the case, but she wanted us to watch for signs over the next six months and then we'll re-evaluate. She suggested that we get him more involved with other kids and see how he develops. We all truly believe that it is nothing more than a simple speech delay, but we will follow him closely the next few months. I'd be lying if I said that simply mentioning autism doesn't have me worried and concerned, but I'm trying to stay focused. His speech has come a long way, and I can only hope and pray that he will continue to make great strides.

Speech Explosion

Noah's been out of speech therapy for 2 weeks now. When Aidan was turning 3, one day, his speech just suddenly began to get better. Now, granted, his speech was never as delayed as Noah's has been, but he didn't speak a lot until after his third birthday. I have been convinced that Noah knows more words than he uses. I also am convinced that he has selective hearing and only cooperates when it's convenient for him.

Over the last week, Noah's proved time and again that he understands me consistently. If I ask him to get me something, he usually will. If I tell him to do something that he doesn't want to do, he tells me no. When he fills up a diaper, I will tell him that we need to work on potty training, and he will agree with me. Today, his communication was better than I've ever seen it. He was looking for Aidan and said, clear as day, "Aidan, where are you?" We were getting ready to leave the house, and he said, "Mommy, come on." But the real surprise came while we were out. Chris and I had decided to take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese as a treat. As soon as well pulled up, Noah began shrieking and saying, "Yay, Chuck E. Cheese!" We were shocked! He told us he wanted pizza, and he actually ate two slices! However, what amazed me the most was his reaction to the games. He stared at them intently while we ate, and when we were done, I took him to the games. He ended up leading me around the game room, and he stopped at a ticket game. I showed him where to insert the coin, and not only did he insert the coin, he aimed the coin to get it to go into a slot to earn tickets! He was so excited that he kept playing, earning more tickets. I told him to try another game, and he kept hitting the bonus tickets! Noah earned well over 100 on his own, without my help! Katie and Aidan can't even do that! As we were leaving, CEC himself came out, and Noah's eyes sparkled. He gave CEC five and looked happier than ever. My little man, the one whom I've been silently begging to communicate with me, is finally coming out of his shell and opening up. He's speaking in sentences, and recognizing letters. At Publix, he said "P-U-B-L-I-X" as soon as well pulled up. Noah's growing up!

The Graduate!

This past Tuesday, Noah had his last speech therapy session with Trip. He's come such a long way with his speech. Noah will try to say new words almost daily--elephant, ornament, and train track are just a sample of his new vocabulary. Though he did not cooperate on Tuesday, I do feel confident in our decision to discontinue speech for the time being. His vocabulary is exploding, and we know how to encourage his speech. If we decide that his is not progressing, we can opt to begin therapy for him again.

It was a bittersweet day. When I think back to his pediatrician first recommending ST, I was very much against it. Noah didn't seem delayed to me, or to Chris. We gradually opened up to the idea of ST, and we got a wonderful speech therapist in Trip. Noah formed a bond with him, and mostly cooperated during his sessions. He has learned to assert himself with his siblings, and though he may get on a tangent and babble in his own language, at least he is attempting to communicate his needs. And the word "no" has become a staple in his vocabulary, especially when it comes to bedtime!

For now, we are going to remain optimistic about his speech, and pray that he will continue to make great strides in acheiving his goals!

A Dramatic Change

Over the past month, I have dreaded getting out of bed daily. The main reason for this is having to deal with Noah all day. Now, I know this sounds horrible, but his behavior has been horrible lately. All he does all day long is throw things over the banister and at people, as well as try to hit. He gets disciplined (such as time-outs and spankings), but he didn't care. My floor downstairs was covered in junk from all over the house, because it wasn't just Noah's stuff that he was throwing--it was whatever he could get his hands on. A lot of people would suggest taking the stuff away that he throws, but when it's Katie's stuff or Aidan's stuff, I can't do that. And I repeat, Noah would get punished, but it didn't phase him a bit.

On Sunday, Chris decided to completely clean the house. He knows I haven't been feeling great all month, so he figured he would help out. In the process, he took the trains off of Noah's train table and replaced them with his Disney Cars instead. He cleaned up all of the junk that was littering the floor downstairs and put everything away. When we went to Noah's room, he was happily playing with his cars. In fact, he let us play with him. On Monday, his behavior was different immediately. He kept pulling me into his room to play with him, and he threw only a couple of things. He was content almost all day.

Today was the big surprise. Once again, Noah was content when he got up this morning. He ate his breakfast and asked for seconds, which surprised me. We got dressed and played some, then went to the post office and dry cleaners. Today was speech therapy, so when Trip showed up, Noah decided to get right to work. Trip pulled out the Mr. Potato Head to go over body parts, and Noah quickly repeated each one. Then, Trip took out the picture cards and told Noah he was going to give him some new words today, the hardest words he has. Included in the words were nun, noon, pop, toot, tune, nine, etc. Noah easily repeated all of the words, with the exception of four. After that, Trip showed Noah some verbs and had him identify each action. Noah got all but one of them. We were beyond impressed. It just proves, once again, what we've thought--Noah knows his words, but for some reason, doesn't feel the need to use them.

We made it through the day without one item getting thrown or going to time out. He ate his breakfast and lunch well, and even said "More, please" when he gave me his sippy cup, asking for more milk. He has turned into an incredibly sweet, fun boy who is actually communicating with us. It really makes me wonder if he was feeling "neglected" before and was simply acting out as his way of communicating his needs. I hope we're in for much more of this behavior!

Terrible Twos

Last week, I had a meeting with Noah's service coordinator with his speech therapy. Catina took over back in the spring, and I really like her. We had to discuss Noah's progress over this past year, and we also discussed if he would be continuing in the public schools once he turns three.



After getting our insurance information (haha--they won't pay a penny of ST because Noah wasn't born with a cleft palate), we discussed Noah's progress over the past year. Noah does well with Trip, but lately, Noah is bored with ST. He wants to do his own thing. Whenever Trip comes over, Noah hides and throws a fit for the first 10 min. of his therapy. Last week, at least Noah did eventually come around and cooperate for a little while. The problem is that Noah is tired of repeating the same words. Chris and I have decided to begin showing him the Baby Einsteins again. Some experts completely disagree with letting children watch any tv, but our kids have always been enthralled with the Baby Einsteins, and they are quite educational. Most importantly, they introduce new words and Noah will happily repeat them. Catina thought it was a fantastic idea, because we are working with Noah while he watches the tv and interacting with him.

We have decided not to continue with ST once Noah turns three. We believe that he's being stubborn and knows his words, because he does speak some. If he were to continue, he would be evaluated and placed into a class with other ST children. Instead of having therapy once per week, he would go to "school" daily for nearly 6 hours, which is far too long, in my opinion! If Noah is bored with ST once per week, I shudder to think of how he would respond to it daily.

The other issue we are having with Noah is throwing things down the stairs. This behavior just began, and it's very obnoxious. He will throw shoes, toys, water bottles, etc down the stairs and just giggle. We have been putting him in time out, but it seems to have no affect on his behavior. When Aidan was Noah's age, he would literally throw himself on the floor and throw a tantrum if he didn't get his way. It got so bad that we would not go places. Luckily, Aidan outgrew that and is so sweet now, so I can only hope that Noah's behavior will continue to improve.

"Out!"

Never has one short word meant so much. "Out" is only three letters long, but it has been given new meaning.

Yesterday, Noah took a bath by himself. Usually, he and Aidan will bathe together, but Aidan wanted to take a shower instead. Noah's been in speech therapy for nearly a year now. His vocabulary grows weekly, but he always say "Uh, uh, uh", and points to whatever he wants. It's kind of frustrating, because at this age, I expect him to tell me what he wants. If he wants a drink, I expect him to say "Drink!", but all I ever get is "Uh, uh, uh!"

Bathtime is one of Noah's favorite times of the day. He adores splashing the water, and he will refuse to get out of the tub, or throw a tantrum while we try to dress him. Last night was different. I was getting his towel out and making sure I had his diaper and pjs while he splashed around. He loves pouring water out of his bath cup and "washing" his hair. As I was getting everything prepped for when he got out of the shower, the unthinkable happened.

"Mama.....out!" Noah was standing up and holding his arms up towards me, signaling that he was ready to get out of the tub. I looked at him for a minute, not quite sure I believed him.

"Out!" he said again.

I must admit it--I nearly cried! For the first time in his entire life, Noah told me exactly what he wanted, and he told me with real words. Naturally, I took out of the tub and got him dressed.

My baby boy is growing up. He's making tremendous progress, and I now know that he is capable of telling me his needs with actual words. I am so proud of him!

Talkative

As we were driving home from the beach on Saturday, Katie and Aidan began talking--a lot! Soon, though, Noah decided to chime in.

"NIGHT-NIGHT!" he would scream.

"Sleep tight!" I would respond.

"NIGHT-NIGHT!" he would scream again.

This continued for quite some time. Soon, though, he began saying other things, such as Mommy, Daddy, Katie, Aidan, Noah, etc. For the first time that I can remember, he was constantly talking. Maybe it's not much of a conversation to some, but for us, this was huge!

Polite

Noah and I skipped ST this past week. We rarely cancel, but we had a playdate at the zoo with some friends, and I think exposing Noah (and the other kids) to as many kids as possible is just as beneficial as ST, and Tripp understood. My kids had a blast at the zoo--Katie had never been before, and even though Aidan and Noah have been before, they still enjoyed it immensely. While we were at the zoo, I was dreading taking Noah out of his stroller. We've been going through power struggles lately when it comes to Noah sitting in the stroller, and I figured the zoo would be horrible. Oddly enough, I was willing to let Noah walk, and he requested to get back into his stroller! One of the big differences in Noah vs. the other kids around his age is that they tend to tell their moms what they want, and their moms ask them what they want. I realized that this is my fault--I had assumed that Noah couldn't speak much that I didn't need to ask him what he wanted to do. Several of my friends also have speech-delayed children, yet they do still included their kids in decisions. I made it my mission to focus on asking Noah his preferences this week.

As I started asking Noah questions, he began answering me. One aspect of parenthood that I have always focused on as my children began speaking was being polite. I try to always ask my kids to please do something, and then I thank them. As a result, Katie, and especially Aidan, are fairly polite. I mean, they're still kids, so they can be demanding, but overall, they understand that I am more willing to comply to a request if they are polite. Well, I began asking Noah to please sit in his car seat. Surprisingly, he began happily climbing in and letting me buckle him up! But the biggest surprise was when I thanked him--he said "You're welcome"! As the week progressed, he's been saying thank you to me when I give him his sippy cup, when I give him food he wants, or when I put him in a shopping cart or stroller. If I tell him thank you for behaving, he will always reply with "You're welcome".

On Friday, I had a bad day and desperately needed some intense retail therapy. We went to MOG, and Noah climbed into his stroller easily and told me "You're welcome" when I thanked him for behaving. After buying some things at Old Navy, Bath and Body Works, and Yankee Candle, we went to the soft playground. I let the kids play for about 45 min., and when it was time to leave, all three of them easily left, and Noah easily got back into the stroller!! I was beyond amazed! Maybe I've been making things harder than they had to be..............

Needless to say, I have learned an important lesson about communicating with Noah. Even though we skipped ST, he has come a long way in a week!f