11/11/10 was a day that I wish I could forget. Well, if you get down to it, I really wish I could erase the week from 11/5/10 through 11/11/10. So this year, while many people were making great memories of 11/11/11, I was simply getting through the day. You see, I lost my twins a year ago on 11/11/11. It has been a strange year--much of it was spent with me burying my emotions and struggling to get through each day. Thankfully, around my birthday, Chris and I had a much needed talk about the miscarriage. During that time, I finally heard what I needed to hear from him, and I finally could talk about how much I am lacking closure.
So, during November 2011, I am focusing on how thankful I am to finally be healing some. I have given my pain to God, because I am ready to be free from it. Yes, there are still dark days and sad times, but there are finally more good days than bad. I still have my pregnancy blog up from where I abruptly ended it last November, and I may link it to this blog.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
"Are you expecting?!"
As women, we experience things that guys simply don't have to put up with. If a guy is getting gray, he looks distinguished, but if a woman goes gray, she's simply just getting old. If a man waits until his 40s to get married, he's just having fun, but if a woman waits that long, she's past her peak. If a man gains weight, it's simply overlooked. However, if a woman pops out three kids and is no longer a size zero, then everyone assumes that she is pregnant simply because she has a belly. At least, this has been my experience. I've been working a lot at Van Adams lately, and the amount of clueless people that ask me if I'm pregnant has become irritating. Granted, I've let myself go a bit this past year. Losing the babies put me in a funk, and I haven't been taking great care of myself, but I don't think that a size 6 is any cause for me to feel self-conscious about my weight. However, my self-image has taken a drastic downward turn lately due to clueless people.
The very first time someone asked me if I was pregnant when I wasn't was in Douglasville. I was working at BOA at the time, and a man asked if I was pregnant. I wasn't, but I did get preggo with Noah shortly after that. Last summer, a vendor at Van's asked if I was preggo, and when I told him no, he was mortified and gave me numerous Starbuck's gift cards to apologize. Once again, shortly thereafter, I was preggo. A couple of weeks ago, a lady at Van's asked when I was due. When I told her I wasn't expecting, she apologized and clearly felt bad. I was not pleased, but I do realize that I have a belly. The very next morning, as Chris and I got breakfast, the owner asked if I had had the baby yet. The sent me to car in tears. A couple of days after that, a man at Van's asked when the baby was due. I was more than annoyed and told him that not only was I not pregnant but that I obviously need to lose weight. Today, it happened again. A good customer (an older lady--she should know better) got all excited and said how lucky I was to be expecting. Now I'm humilitated and feel like I can't go out in public. Most of my belly is extra skin--I've popped out TWO 9 pound boys! Not only that, but no matter what I wear, I get asked about my belly. I can wear tighter clothes and get asked, or I can wear lose clothes and get asked. It truly makes me not want to leave my house.
I've decided people are clueless, because I'm not the only one getting asked when I'm expecting. I blame the media. I mean, celebrities can pop out babies and have personal trainers to whip them into shape in just a couple of months, and they can afford tummy tucks. The average mother cannot get her shape back, let alone afford a tummy tuck. Therefore, peoples' images of women have them believing that their bellies should be flat. If they aren't, then surely the women are expecting. It's a twisted opinion, and very damaging to self-esteem. No wonder girls are anorexic, and no wonder women suffer from low self-esteem.
I have been working out nearly every day, desperately trying to firm up my belly. I know I'm out-of-shape, and I want to look and feel healthy. I also want the general public to wake up and think before they speak! How would they feel I asked them the same question? If I am blessed enough to be expecting again, then trust me, I will be shouting it at the top of my lungs! But until that day arrives, please be advised: No, I'm not pregnant, and if you're smart, you won't ask! (I read this on a t-shirt someone had made up because she was tired of being asked the same question!)
The very first time someone asked me if I was pregnant when I wasn't was in Douglasville. I was working at BOA at the time, and a man asked if I was pregnant. I wasn't, but I did get preggo with Noah shortly after that. Last summer, a vendor at Van's asked if I was preggo, and when I told him no, he was mortified and gave me numerous Starbuck's gift cards to apologize. Once again, shortly thereafter, I was preggo. A couple of weeks ago, a lady at Van's asked when I was due. When I told her I wasn't expecting, she apologized and clearly felt bad. I was not pleased, but I do realize that I have a belly. The very next morning, as Chris and I got breakfast, the owner asked if I had had the baby yet. The sent me to car in tears. A couple of days after that, a man at Van's asked when the baby was due. I was more than annoyed and told him that not only was I not pregnant but that I obviously need to lose weight. Today, it happened again. A good customer (an older lady--she should know better) got all excited and said how lucky I was to be expecting. Now I'm humilitated and feel like I can't go out in public. Most of my belly is extra skin--I've popped out TWO 9 pound boys! Not only that, but no matter what I wear, I get asked about my belly. I can wear tighter clothes and get asked, or I can wear lose clothes and get asked. It truly makes me not want to leave my house.
I've decided people are clueless, because I'm not the only one getting asked when I'm expecting. I blame the media. I mean, celebrities can pop out babies and have personal trainers to whip them into shape in just a couple of months, and they can afford tummy tucks. The average mother cannot get her shape back, let alone afford a tummy tuck. Therefore, peoples' images of women have them believing that their bellies should be flat. If they aren't, then surely the women are expecting. It's a twisted opinion, and very damaging to self-esteem. No wonder girls are anorexic, and no wonder women suffer from low self-esteem.
I have been working out nearly every day, desperately trying to firm up my belly. I know I'm out-of-shape, and I want to look and feel healthy. I also want the general public to wake up and think before they speak! How would they feel I asked them the same question? If I am blessed enough to be expecting again, then trust me, I will be shouting it at the top of my lungs! But until that day arrives, please be advised: No, I'm not pregnant, and if you're smart, you won't ask! (I read this on a t-shirt someone had made up because she was tired of being asked the same question!)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sweet Summertime
It's been awhile since I've written. After such a busy spring, summer and the laziness that has ensued has hindered my writing. Actually, I think I've had a bit of postpartum depression. Yes, it is entirely possible to have postpartum depression after a pregnancy loss, just as it's possible after having a live baby. Spring kept me busy and allowed me to focus on many things, but when it all ended, I crashed emotionally. I have not been to a doctor or anything. However, I am finally allowing myself to think about what all happened, and I'm still trying to find peace with it. Though I am thrilled for any others who are pregnant or just had a baby, I mourn for my own loss each time a new pregnancy or birth is announced.
However, enough about me. The kids are out of school, of course. Katie and Aidan had a blast at VBS this summer, in which the theme was Galactic Blast. I'll post about our vacation to Myrtle Beach soon. This week, Aidan is at baseball camp with Jack City Sports Center. He's loving it so far! It's hard to believe the beginning of the school year is just a few short weeks away! Katie's ballet will begin the week school begins, and baseball begins in late August.
Noah's speech is getting better, but we are still debating putting him back into ST. My uncle is actually a professional when it comes to speech, and my dad discussed Noah's speech with him. I'm thrilled to say that my uncle, who is very familiar with austism, agrees that Noah does not appear to be on the austism spectrum at all. My uncle suggested a specific, rare form of speech therapy that he believes would be beneficial for Noah, and we are looking into it. I'm not sure if insurance will cover it or not. However, I feel confident that Noah will soon get the ST he needs and will hopefully become a chatterbox!
However, enough about me. The kids are out of school, of course. Katie and Aidan had a blast at VBS this summer, in which the theme was Galactic Blast. I'll post about our vacation to Myrtle Beach soon. This week, Aidan is at baseball camp with Jack City Sports Center. He's loving it so far! It's hard to believe the beginning of the school year is just a few short weeks away! Katie's ballet will begin the week school begins, and baseball begins in late August.
Noah's speech is getting better, but we are still debating putting him back into ST. My uncle is actually a professional when it comes to speech, and my dad discussed Noah's speech with him. I'm thrilled to say that my uncle, who is very familiar with austism, agrees that Noah does not appear to be on the austism spectrum at all. My uncle suggested a specific, rare form of speech therapy that he believes would be beneficial for Noah, and we are looking into it. I'm not sure if insurance will cover it or not. However, I feel confident that Noah will soon get the ST he needs and will hopefully become a chatterbox!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Busy Spring...
Things have been more than a little bit crazy around our house lately. Our days are full, as well as our evenings, and though the sun is staying out later, my days seem shorter than ever.
Noah is absolutely communicating far better. He answers questions now, and it is obvious he completely understands what he is being told. His vocabulary continues to increase as well. He is finally beginning to start his sentences with "I" when he wants something. However, the most interesting new activity for Noah is t-ball! He's been enthusiatically watching Aidan's baseball games, and after practice, Noah loves run the bases. We are thinking of enrolling him in spring t-ball, as we hear they are far less competitive during the fall. Also, he is still using the potty very well, but I've gotten a bit lazy and need to finish training him.
Katie is about to have her ballet recital! She's done extremely well with ballet this year--well enough to get moved up to the next level next year. She still hasn't decided if she's going to take ballet again, but I really hope she will. It's difficult to process that she's almost done with second grade! I am not ready for her to begin third grade next year!! Katie really enjoyed her swimming lessons last year, so we are going to let her take some more lessons this year from Swim Atlanta.
Aidan's schedule has been the craziest of all! He has really enjoyed playing baseball with the Dacula Braves this spring, and his team was undefeated for the first 8 games!! Aidan's enjoying baseball so much that we are going to enroll him in a baseball camp this summer at a local sports center called Jack City. They have both an indoor and outdoor field, so he won't have to endure 100* temps for his camp. Also, so many of the boys on his team have taken private lessons at Jack City, so I think we might sign him up for a couple of those as well. I also just registered him for kindergarten next year--I'm not ready for this! His PreK graduation is next week, and it will be bittersweet for sure.
Chris and I have both been working some crazy hours at Van Adams lately. Mother's Day was insanely busy there, which is great, but wore us out! I'm working another full week this week, so the extra money is great, but I have had to let some things go around the house. I've also begun making cakes for some extra money. One of my friends is going to create a website for me, and I hope I can eventually get to the point that I make at least one cake per week.
Mother's Day was enjoyable. We ate lunch with my parents and my sister Ruth, and we went to Red Lobster. The kids did surprisingly well there, and ate just about everything between the 3 of them! Katie made me a sweet card with tea attached to it, and Aidan painted me a wooden jewelry box and made a beaded bracelet to go inside of it. I also got a rose from Aidan's baseball team, flowers, Godiva chocolates, and some shopping money! I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit wistful on Mother's Day--I was truly missing my twins, as I am quickly approaching what would've been my due date, May 28. Just as I think I'm getting better, something reminds me of the babies and I often get lonely for them.
Summer will be here before we know it!
Noah is absolutely communicating far better. He answers questions now, and it is obvious he completely understands what he is being told. His vocabulary continues to increase as well. He is finally beginning to start his sentences with "I" when he wants something. However, the most interesting new activity for Noah is t-ball! He's been enthusiatically watching Aidan's baseball games, and after practice, Noah loves run the bases. We are thinking of enrolling him in spring t-ball, as we hear they are far less competitive during the fall. Also, he is still using the potty very well, but I've gotten a bit lazy and need to finish training him.
Katie is about to have her ballet recital! She's done extremely well with ballet this year--well enough to get moved up to the next level next year. She still hasn't decided if she's going to take ballet again, but I really hope she will. It's difficult to process that she's almost done with second grade! I am not ready for her to begin third grade next year!! Katie really enjoyed her swimming lessons last year, so we are going to let her take some more lessons this year from Swim Atlanta.
Aidan's schedule has been the craziest of all! He has really enjoyed playing baseball with the Dacula Braves this spring, and his team was undefeated for the first 8 games!! Aidan's enjoying baseball so much that we are going to enroll him in a baseball camp this summer at a local sports center called Jack City. They have both an indoor and outdoor field, so he won't have to endure 100* temps for his camp. Also, so many of the boys on his team have taken private lessons at Jack City, so I think we might sign him up for a couple of those as well. I also just registered him for kindergarten next year--I'm not ready for this! His PreK graduation is next week, and it will be bittersweet for sure.
Chris and I have both been working some crazy hours at Van Adams lately. Mother's Day was insanely busy there, which is great, but wore us out! I'm working another full week this week, so the extra money is great, but I have had to let some things go around the house. I've also begun making cakes for some extra money. One of my friends is going to create a website for me, and I hope I can eventually get to the point that I make at least one cake per week.
Mother's Day was enjoyable. We ate lunch with my parents and my sister Ruth, and we went to Red Lobster. The kids did surprisingly well there, and ate just about everything between the 3 of them! Katie made me a sweet card with tea attached to it, and Aidan painted me a wooden jewelry box and made a beaded bracelet to go inside of it. I also got a rose from Aidan's baseball team, flowers, Godiva chocolates, and some shopping money! I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit wistful on Mother's Day--I was truly missing my twins, as I am quickly approaching what would've been my due date, May 28. Just as I think I'm getting better, something reminds me of the babies and I often get lonely for them.
Summer will be here before we know it!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Success
I hate potty-training. No, seriously, I hate it. I've had nothing but negative experiences with it. Between Katie's runs at a birthday party to Aidan's ER visit on his fourth birthday for an impacted stool, I have decided that I won't potty-train anymore. Nope, Noah can just stay in diapers until he decides it's time, and if I have any more children, they can teach themselves. Oh, wait, what was that? Noah is ready? How can I be sure? How can I know that I won't face another miserable potty-training experience? Hmmm...I guess Noah has decided to train himself! I wasn't really planning on having the kids have baths tonight, but between Aidan's hair gel and Noah's love of nature, I really had no choice. Bathtime has become a bit of a battlefield lately, because Noah never wants to get dressed. His communication is getting so much better that he no longer just "goes with the flow". Nope, now he says a firm "no" if he doesn't want to do something, the silly boy. He was running around in Aidan's Thomas the Tank Engine towel, "peep-peep"-ing, and all of a sudden, he squatted down on my bathroom floor and let out just a couple drops of pee. I know he knew what he was doing, because he stopped. I quickly picked him up and put him on our toilet, and encouraged him to have some success. Low and behold, less than a minute later, success! I kept cheering him on, and he emptied his bladder right then and there. Even funnier, he got up, flushed the toilet, and washed his hands, grinning proudly! He was so proud that, 5 minutes later, he wanted to sit on the toilet again, but of course, he had already emptied his bladder, so that time was unsuccessful. So, it appears that my son has taken matters into his own hands and has decided it's time to use the potty! With any luck, he might be daytime trained within a week!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Spring is here!
It's been a LONG time since I've posted anything on my blog. I've stayed pretty busy these past few weeks, and I finally have a little bit of time. To begin with, the weather has mellowed out quite a bit--it's in the 80s today! The kids are enjoying spending time outside, and I'm enjoying lower energy bills until the heat of summer really kicks in in a month or so.
I've spent a lot of time with Noah lately, assessing his speech and behavior. I have come to the conclusion that, if he is on the austism spectrum, which I highly doubt, he is extremely high-functioning. However, I truly believe that he is fine. I have focused on his speech a lot lately, and he is making great strides. He is finally beginning to really communicate his wants and needs to me. He loves looking at books right now, and he especially loves animals. I hope to take him back to the zoo soon because he's really loving elephants and zebras right now. He is also starting to follow directions. Does he ALWAYS follow directions? Of course not! But, his communication is much better. He's also playing with more kids. Does he still enjoy independent play? Of course! But, he's just as happy playing with other children. He shares pretty well, and especially loves cars and trains. He has begun to watch baseball and is starting to understand how to hit the ball. I'm also working with him on riding his new bike with training wheels. Potty-training is about to begin. He actually told me to change his dirty diaper the other day, so I know he's ready. I'm really proud of Noah! He's come a long way lately.
Aidan is deep into the spring season of baseball! This year, his team is the Dacula Braves, and they are a great team. The boys work well together, and they are undefeated as of this point. We spend about 3-4 days/nights per week practicing and playing games. Baseball is serious stuff her in Dacula! The coaches really work with the boys to get them to improve. Aidan's stance is much better, as is is swing. He still has a long way to go, but he's improved so much! It's a lot of fun watching them play, and Aidan is happy. I'm thrilled he's found a sport that he loves so that he can build some confidence and get some exercise.
Katie is performing in Cinderella tomorrow with the Northeast Atlanta Ballet. She seems to enjoy ballet, but at the same time, she says she doesn't want to take ballet next year. We'll see. She has tried a few activities, but she doesn't seem to love any of them enough to really get involved. She's still doing well in school. We also are coming off of our Girl Scout cookie sale. Girl Scouts is keeping us so busy, and I feel badly that I can't be more active with the troop. But with Chris' job and me having the boys with me, there's only so much I can do with the troop.
Chris is still searching for a new job, but no luck yet. I've been working a few days per week up until this week, and it's worn me out. We are also staying busy with our online video game business.
Ok, that's my quick update. Time to spend more time with the kids!
I've spent a lot of time with Noah lately, assessing his speech and behavior. I have come to the conclusion that, if he is on the austism spectrum, which I highly doubt, he is extremely high-functioning. However, I truly believe that he is fine. I have focused on his speech a lot lately, and he is making great strides. He is finally beginning to really communicate his wants and needs to me. He loves looking at books right now, and he especially loves animals. I hope to take him back to the zoo soon because he's really loving elephants and zebras right now. He is also starting to follow directions. Does he ALWAYS follow directions? Of course not! But, his communication is much better. He's also playing with more kids. Does he still enjoy independent play? Of course! But, he's just as happy playing with other children. He shares pretty well, and especially loves cars and trains. He has begun to watch baseball and is starting to understand how to hit the ball. I'm also working with him on riding his new bike with training wheels. Potty-training is about to begin. He actually told me to change his dirty diaper the other day, so I know he's ready. I'm really proud of Noah! He's come a long way lately.
Aidan is deep into the spring season of baseball! This year, his team is the Dacula Braves, and they are a great team. The boys work well together, and they are undefeated as of this point. We spend about 3-4 days/nights per week practicing and playing games. Baseball is serious stuff her in Dacula! The coaches really work with the boys to get them to improve. Aidan's stance is much better, as is is swing. He still has a long way to go, but he's improved so much! It's a lot of fun watching them play, and Aidan is happy. I'm thrilled he's found a sport that he loves so that he can build some confidence and get some exercise.
Katie is performing in Cinderella tomorrow with the Northeast Atlanta Ballet. She seems to enjoy ballet, but at the same time, she says she doesn't want to take ballet next year. We'll see. She has tried a few activities, but she doesn't seem to love any of them enough to really get involved. She's still doing well in school. We also are coming off of our Girl Scout cookie sale. Girl Scouts is keeping us so busy, and I feel badly that I can't be more active with the troop. But with Chris' job and me having the boys with me, there's only so much I can do with the troop.
Chris is still searching for a new job, but no luck yet. I've been working a few days per week up until this week, and it's worn me out. We are also staying busy with our online video game business.
Ok, that's my quick update. Time to spend more time with the kids!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Well Check-Ups
Today, Aidan and Noah went to the dr. for well child visits. I had delayed taking Noah so that I could get two done at once. Our new insurance has kicked in, so my copay was less, which was nice. Aidan was worried he'd have to get a shot today, but I wasn't sure if would have to. Noah, on the other hand, would definately have to get a couple of shots.
It began calmly. Chris was off today, so we all headed to the pediatrician's office. The nurse got the weight and height of the boys--Aidan is 42 inches tall and 37 lbs, while Noah is 39.5 inches tall and 35 lbs. No wonder people think they boys are twins! Aidan had to have a hearing and vision screening for school, but he still didn't want to cooperate. Poor Noah had to get his thumb pricked so they could do some blood work on him, and he screamed bloody murder! While the nurse went to get the dr., Aidan decided to cooperate on the vision screening, so we all watched as he passed with flying colors. Once Dr. M came in, though, things got a bit hairy. Aidan did ok for his exam, but he was still afraid he'd get a shot. Noah watched with wonder as Aidan had his exam. Then it was Noah's turn, but Noah did not like that idea at all. Dr. M was patient with him, and he finally calmed down for his exam. Next, we had a nice chat about eating habits and Noah's speech. As we discussed Noah's speech, we briefly touched on what could be causing his speech delay. Dr. M hestitantly said there is a slight possiblity he has autism. She didn't want to even say it, because she doesn't really think this is the case, but she wanted us to watch for signs over the next six months and then we'll re-evaluate. She suggested that we get him more involved with other kids and see how he develops. We all truly believe that it is nothing more than a simple speech delay, but we will follow him closely the next few months. I'd be lying if I said that simply mentioning autism doesn't have me worried and concerned, but I'm trying to stay focused. His speech has come a long way, and I can only hope and pray that he will continue to make great strides.
It began calmly. Chris was off today, so we all headed to the pediatrician's office. The nurse got the weight and height of the boys--Aidan is 42 inches tall and 37 lbs, while Noah is 39.5 inches tall and 35 lbs. No wonder people think they boys are twins! Aidan had to have a hearing and vision screening for school, but he still didn't want to cooperate. Poor Noah had to get his thumb pricked so they could do some blood work on him, and he screamed bloody murder! While the nurse went to get the dr., Aidan decided to cooperate on the vision screening, so we all watched as he passed with flying colors. Once Dr. M came in, though, things got a bit hairy. Aidan did ok for his exam, but he was still afraid he'd get a shot. Noah watched with wonder as Aidan had his exam. Then it was Noah's turn, but Noah did not like that idea at all. Dr. M was patient with him, and he finally calmed down for his exam. Next, we had a nice chat about eating habits and Noah's speech. As we discussed Noah's speech, we briefly touched on what could be causing his speech delay. Dr. M hestitantly said there is a slight possiblity he has autism. She didn't want to even say it, because she doesn't really think this is the case, but she wanted us to watch for signs over the next six months and then we'll re-evaluate. She suggested that we get him more involved with other kids and see how he develops. We all truly believe that it is nothing more than a simple speech delay, but we will follow him closely the next few months. I'd be lying if I said that simply mentioning autism doesn't have me worried and concerned, but I'm trying to stay focused. His speech has come a long way, and I can only hope and pray that he will continue to make great strides.
Eat Mor Chikn
I cannot believe that Aidan is now 5! Where has the time gone? Only yesterday, he was born a huge baby boy, causing me to push for 3 hours before he was delivered. Now, he's in Pre-K, playing baseball, and learning at leaps and bounds.
We had Aidan's 5th birthday party on Sat., Feb. 5 at CFA on Scenic Hwy. We had discussed what kind of party Aidan wanted, and though he initially wanted a CEC party, I did some research and discovered that CFA was highly rated for birthday parties and a bit more frugal than other places. In fact, it appears that each individual CFA determines what they will charge for birthday parties. Some places rival CEC or Monkey Joe's, while others simply charge for the kids' meals. I was happy with what CFA in Snellville gave me for my money. They told me they would set up a table for the kids with a tablecloth, provide a balloon for each child, let the kids order what they wanted in their meals, give them ice cream, and have the cow present. Nothing seemed simpler to me! We invited the entire Pre-K class, but I knew they wouldn't all show up.
On Friday, after 5.5 hours, I had made Aidan's Super Mario cake from scratch. We decided to blow up Aidan's Mario balloon on Saturday morning, and when we went to Party City, the balloon was deflated by the time we went to check out. They refilled it, and once again, the air escaped. I felt bad for Aidan, but there was nothing I could do--no place actually sells the Mario mylar balloons. I had ordered it online from Birthday Express. Chris got off of work early, and we went to CFA around 5:15, about 15 min. before his party. People trickled in--several people who had not RSVPed showed up, and I was glad, because I only had about a half dozen RSVPs. As luck would have it, it was also daddy/daughter date night, so there was a violinist and arch made of balloons, as well as black tableclothes and candles on each table. All of the kids began playing, and we ordered a small nugget tray for the adults to munch on. After all the kids arrived, we ordered their meals. Honestly, the children were amazingly quiet during dinner! We got them ice cream, and the cow came over to help sing to Aidan. He was beaming with excitement! Next, he opened those presents!! All of the kids were excited--Aidan got lots of fun toys! As the party wrapped up, I passed out goody bags to the kids (filled with pencils, pads of paper, Play-Doh, Smarties, fruit snacks, a crazy straw, and Mario candy). Aidan was walking on air that evening. Once we got home, he ripped into his new toys, and he, Katie, and Noah had a blast trying everything out. I heard some of the kids say Aidan's party was the best they had ever been to! Needless to say, fun was had by all, and we had some exhausted kids that evening!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Picky Eaters
It's funny. When Katie was a toddler, I could take her to any restaurant, and she would be the neatest eater at the table. And wow, she would eat almost anything. My boys are different. About a year ago, Noah stopped eating much of anything. For about 3 months, he would only eat a couple of things. I spoke with his speech therapist and his pediatrician, but they assured me that he would eat when he was ready. To suppliment, I began giving him Carnation Instant Breakfast daily. That way, he would get the nutrition he was lacking in his diet. To this day, he is incredibly picky, refusing to eat any fruit or vegetables, aside from what is in his chili and spaghetti.
When Aidan began Pre-K, I had to pack him a lunch because he was refusing to eat what they served him. At dinner, he would pick at everything. He's not as picky as Noah, but there are only certain foods he will touch. As a child, my parents would force me to sit at the table until I cleaned my plate. As a result, I refuse to touch seafood, even now. I don't want my kids to miss out on certain foods, so our rule is that you have to take at least one bite of everything on their plate. If they don't like it, they don't have to eat more, but this way, they are exposed to new foods and have the opportunity to develop their palates.
I just wish dinnertime wasn't such a battle of wills! At least Katie still eats very well and will clean her plate at just about any meal!
When Aidan began Pre-K, I had to pack him a lunch because he was refusing to eat what they served him. At dinner, he would pick at everything. He's not as picky as Noah, but there are only certain foods he will touch. As a child, my parents would force me to sit at the table until I cleaned my plate. As a result, I refuse to touch seafood, even now. I don't want my kids to miss out on certain foods, so our rule is that you have to take at least one bite of everything on their plate. If they don't like it, they don't have to eat more, but this way, they are exposed to new foods and have the opportunity to develop their palates.
I just wish dinnertime wasn't such a battle of wills! At least Katie still eats very well and will clean her plate at just about any meal!
Family Planning
I don't know about everyone else, but when I was a little girl, I envisioned meeting a wonderful man, getting married, having kids, and living happily ever after. I never thought about the details, of course--I just figured that once I was married, everything would magically work itself out. Naturally, as I grew up, I figured out that there was a whole lot more to marriage and kids.
As a teenager, I didn't think much about birth control. I was raised Catholic, and Catholics view artificial birth control very negatively. However, when I went to college, a lot of my friends were on birth control for various reasons. I still did not get on the pill. I met Chris, fell in love, and we were engaged. A few months before our wedding, I decided to go ahead and try out the pill. As I mentioned, I was raised to believe that the pill was not acceptable, yet Chris and I knew we did not want to get pregnant immediately. I went on Ortho-Cycline and it did horrible things to my body. However, I decided to give it a try for a few months, at least until after the wedding. We were married in April 2002. By September, I had had enough and went off of the pill. We weren't trying to have a baby, but we were ok if it happened. Sure enough, I was pregnant by October. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was devastated. Of course, by then, I wanted to be pregnant, and by Christmas, I found out I was expecting Katie. After her birth, I went on the mini-pill. I liked that so much better than the combined pill, and I was on that for about a year or so before going off of it. Once again, I got pregnant again, and was devasted to learn I had a partial molar pregnancy. However, I was blessed to get pregnant with Aidan a few months later. After Aidan's birth, I went back on the mini-pill, but around Aidan's first birthday, I got very sick with pneumonia. I didn't realize the antibiotic would affect the pill, so I was surprised to learn I was expecting Noah! There was no miscarriage this time! While I was still pregnant with Noah, we discussed our options after Noah's birth. Although I knew I was not done having kids, we wanted something more reliable than the pill. We decided to go with the Mirena. I had that put in place 6 weeks after his birth. Now, a lot of my friends had decided to go with the Mirena, so I was hopeful to have something wonderful. It was a horrible decision. I began spotting bi-weekly, and I was miserable. 10 months later, I had it removed and went back on the pill. Unfortunately, I continued spotting and had to switch pills about 3 times before I found one that worked. I ended up back on the mini-pill. Two months later, in Sept. 2010, I learned I was pregnant again, this time completely unexpectedly. I fell into that low percentage of those who got pregnant taking the pill correctly. But, we all know how the story ends--I was pregnant with twins that did not make it.
Now, let me go deeper. The side effects of the pill can be bad--spotting between periods, irritability, weight gain, blood clots, high blood pressure--the list goes on. I never thought much about the side effects--I figured most of them wouldn't affect, and I was correct. However, after I had Noah and went back on the pill, my body responded differently. My entire life, even during pregnancies, I've had low blood pressure. Once I had Noah and went back on the pill, my blood pressure rose. I went from being well below normal to borderline high blood pressure. I couldn't figure it out. Then, during my pre-op for the D&C, the nurse at the hospital asked if I was on blood pressure medicine, and I responded no. Well, as you all know, my D&C was botched, and I ended up back at the dr. on Friday. When they took my blood pressure, it was 112/60--such a difference from the 130/80 a few weeks back! That's when it hit me--for the first time in ages, I have been off of birth control for several months and my body has had a chance to reset itself!
However, it's more than physical--it's become moral. I began researching the pill a bit more. I learned much more about how it works. Initially, I thought it kept me from ovulating, but as you read the material, you learn that it sometimes works by not allowing a fertilized egg to implant. I have now lost 4 babies, and I have always been pro-life. However, now I understand why the Catholic church is so opposed to the pill. Personally, I cannot ever go back to something that could destroy a life. For me, life begins the moment the sperm and the egg meet. I realize that not everyone feels this way, and this is not meant to be an offensive post. I'm simply saying that, for me, the benefits no longer outweigh the risks. I am not like the Duggars. I would never try to push my views on anyone else, and I'm not looking to have 30 kids. There are other types of family planning, ones that I can live with.
As a teenager, I didn't think much about birth control. I was raised Catholic, and Catholics view artificial birth control very negatively. However, when I went to college, a lot of my friends were on birth control for various reasons. I still did not get on the pill. I met Chris, fell in love, and we were engaged. A few months before our wedding, I decided to go ahead and try out the pill. As I mentioned, I was raised to believe that the pill was not acceptable, yet Chris and I knew we did not want to get pregnant immediately. I went on Ortho-Cycline and it did horrible things to my body. However, I decided to give it a try for a few months, at least until after the wedding. We were married in April 2002. By September, I had had enough and went off of the pill. We weren't trying to have a baby, but we were ok if it happened. Sure enough, I was pregnant by October. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was devastated. Of course, by then, I wanted to be pregnant, and by Christmas, I found out I was expecting Katie. After her birth, I went on the mini-pill. I liked that so much better than the combined pill, and I was on that for about a year or so before going off of it. Once again, I got pregnant again, and was devasted to learn I had a partial molar pregnancy. However, I was blessed to get pregnant with Aidan a few months later. After Aidan's birth, I went back on the mini-pill, but around Aidan's first birthday, I got very sick with pneumonia. I didn't realize the antibiotic would affect the pill, so I was surprised to learn I was expecting Noah! There was no miscarriage this time! While I was still pregnant with Noah, we discussed our options after Noah's birth. Although I knew I was not done having kids, we wanted something more reliable than the pill. We decided to go with the Mirena. I had that put in place 6 weeks after his birth. Now, a lot of my friends had decided to go with the Mirena, so I was hopeful to have something wonderful. It was a horrible decision. I began spotting bi-weekly, and I was miserable. 10 months later, I had it removed and went back on the pill. Unfortunately, I continued spotting and had to switch pills about 3 times before I found one that worked. I ended up back on the mini-pill. Two months later, in Sept. 2010, I learned I was pregnant again, this time completely unexpectedly. I fell into that low percentage of those who got pregnant taking the pill correctly. But, we all know how the story ends--I was pregnant with twins that did not make it.
Now, let me go deeper. The side effects of the pill can be bad--spotting between periods, irritability, weight gain, blood clots, high blood pressure--the list goes on. I never thought much about the side effects--I figured most of them wouldn't affect, and I was correct. However, after I had Noah and went back on the pill, my body responded differently. My entire life, even during pregnancies, I've had low blood pressure. Once I had Noah and went back on the pill, my blood pressure rose. I went from being well below normal to borderline high blood pressure. I couldn't figure it out. Then, during my pre-op for the D&C, the nurse at the hospital asked if I was on blood pressure medicine, and I responded no. Well, as you all know, my D&C was botched, and I ended up back at the dr. on Friday. When they took my blood pressure, it was 112/60--such a difference from the 130/80 a few weeks back! That's when it hit me--for the first time in ages, I have been off of birth control for several months and my body has had a chance to reset itself!
However, it's more than physical--it's become moral. I began researching the pill a bit more. I learned much more about how it works. Initially, I thought it kept me from ovulating, but as you read the material, you learn that it sometimes works by not allowing a fertilized egg to implant. I have now lost 4 babies, and I have always been pro-life. However, now I understand why the Catholic church is so opposed to the pill. Personally, I cannot ever go back to something that could destroy a life. For me, life begins the moment the sperm and the egg meet. I realize that not everyone feels this way, and this is not meant to be an offensive post. I'm simply saying that, for me, the benefits no longer outweigh the risks. I am not like the Duggars. I would never try to push my views on anyone else, and I'm not looking to have 30 kids. There are other types of family planning, ones that I can live with.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Speech Explosion
Noah's been out of speech therapy for 2 weeks now. When Aidan was turning 3, one day, his speech just suddenly began to get better. Now, granted, his speech was never as delayed as Noah's has been, but he didn't speak a lot until after his third birthday. I have been convinced that Noah knows more words than he uses. I also am convinced that he has selective hearing and only cooperates when it's convenient for him.
Over the last week, Noah's proved time and again that he understands me consistently. If I ask him to get me something, he usually will. If I tell him to do something that he doesn't want to do, he tells me no. When he fills up a diaper, I will tell him that we need to work on potty training, and he will agree with me. Today, his communication was better than I've ever seen it. He was looking for Aidan and said, clear as day, "Aidan, where are you?" We were getting ready to leave the house, and he said, "Mommy, come on." But the real surprise came while we were out. Chris and I had decided to take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese as a treat. As soon as well pulled up, Noah began shrieking and saying, "Yay, Chuck E. Cheese!" We were shocked! He told us he wanted pizza, and he actually ate two slices! However, what amazed me the most was his reaction to the games. He stared at them intently while we ate, and when we were done, I took him to the games. He ended up leading me around the game room, and he stopped at a ticket game. I showed him where to insert the coin, and not only did he insert the coin, he aimed the coin to get it to go into a slot to earn tickets! He was so excited that he kept playing, earning more tickets. I told him to try another game, and he kept hitting the bonus tickets! Noah earned well over 100 on his own, without my help! Katie and Aidan can't even do that! As we were leaving, CEC himself came out, and Noah's eyes sparkled. He gave CEC five and looked happier than ever. My little man, the one whom I've been silently begging to communicate with me, is finally coming out of his shell and opening up. He's speaking in sentences, and recognizing letters. At Publix, he said "P-U-B-L-I-X" as soon as well pulled up. Noah's growing up!
Over the last week, Noah's proved time and again that he understands me consistently. If I ask him to get me something, he usually will. If I tell him to do something that he doesn't want to do, he tells me no. When he fills up a diaper, I will tell him that we need to work on potty training, and he will agree with me. Today, his communication was better than I've ever seen it. He was looking for Aidan and said, clear as day, "Aidan, where are you?" We were getting ready to leave the house, and he said, "Mommy, come on." But the real surprise came while we were out. Chris and I had decided to take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese as a treat. As soon as well pulled up, Noah began shrieking and saying, "Yay, Chuck E. Cheese!" We were shocked! He told us he wanted pizza, and he actually ate two slices! However, what amazed me the most was his reaction to the games. He stared at them intently while we ate, and when we were done, I took him to the games. He ended up leading me around the game room, and he stopped at a ticket game. I showed him where to insert the coin, and not only did he insert the coin, he aimed the coin to get it to go into a slot to earn tickets! He was so excited that he kept playing, earning more tickets. I told him to try another game, and he kept hitting the bonus tickets! Noah earned well over 100 on his own, without my help! Katie and Aidan can't even do that! As we were leaving, CEC himself came out, and Noah's eyes sparkled. He gave CEC five and looked happier than ever. My little man, the one whom I've been silently begging to communicate with me, is finally coming out of his shell and opening up. He's speaking in sentences, and recognizing letters. At Publix, he said "P-U-B-L-I-X" as soon as well pulled up. Noah's growing up!
Happy 2011!
I cannot believe we are already in 2011! For the most part, we really had a good 2010, but during the fall, everything fell apart. I am hopeful that we have a good 2011. It got off to a pretty good start.
On New Year's Eve, Chris had to work half of a day, so the kids and I spent the afternoon baking and then playing outside. After all, it was about 63*, a pleasant change from the 30* days we had experienced a week earlier. Noah got his first bike for Christmas, and was eager to test it out. All of the kids were excited to ride their bikes, and really enjoyed the time outside. When Chris got home, we loaded everyone into the van and headed for the Commerce outlets. Chris had bought me a new Coach purse for Christmas, but learned of the Coach outlet a day later and asked me to wait to use the new purse until I checked out the outlet. As it turns out, I was able to get a bigger purse, matching wallet and checkbook cover, and clutch for only a little more than what Chris had initially paid for the purse from Macy's. We also went to Bath and Body Works for me to stock up on hand soap during their semi-annual sale, and we checked out the TRU Express. Katie ended up getting a new puzzle, checkers, bingo, and playing cards for $3 total! After our shopping excursion, Chris took us to eat at Cracker Barrel. It's one of the few restaurants where all of our children eat well.
When we got home, we put the kids to bed and Chris and I watched a movie on our new 40" tv, then we rang in 2011 with Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark. We went to bed around 1 am. On New Year's Day, I had invited my parents as well as Rachel and Tim over for dinner. Last year, I began a new tradition of cooking a turkey for New Year's. This year, we had turkey, dressing, green bean casserole, black-eyed peas, cranberry sauce, and gravy, and I made a fudgy peppermint torte for dessert. Needless to say, everyone was stuffed after dinner! It's a lot of work, but my parents had helped us out a lot with the kids in Nov. and Dec., and this was my way of showing my appreciation.
I don't do well making resolutions, but I have a few goals this year. To begin with, Chris and both need to find new jobs. I would love some kind of job in the school system so that I could be off when the kids are out of school. Chris is looking for a marketing job. I hope to finish paying the rest of our debt off this year (most of it is gone, but we still have a bit left). I am trying to be more patient, especially with the kids. I am hoping to create healthier, tastier dinners for us. Also, I hope to add to our family this year, but I know it will take a bit to get Chris to agree to that. I would like to focus more on Chris and me and making time for ourselves. Here's to a fresh beginning!
On New Year's Eve, Chris had to work half of a day, so the kids and I spent the afternoon baking and then playing outside. After all, it was about 63*, a pleasant change from the 30* days we had experienced a week earlier. Noah got his first bike for Christmas, and was eager to test it out. All of the kids were excited to ride their bikes, and really enjoyed the time outside. When Chris got home, we loaded everyone into the van and headed for the Commerce outlets. Chris had bought me a new Coach purse for Christmas, but learned of the Coach outlet a day later and asked me to wait to use the new purse until I checked out the outlet. As it turns out, I was able to get a bigger purse, matching wallet and checkbook cover, and clutch for only a little more than what Chris had initially paid for the purse from Macy's. We also went to Bath and Body Works for me to stock up on hand soap during their semi-annual sale, and we checked out the TRU Express. Katie ended up getting a new puzzle, checkers, bingo, and playing cards for $3 total! After our shopping excursion, Chris took us to eat at Cracker Barrel. It's one of the few restaurants where all of our children eat well.
When we got home, we put the kids to bed and Chris and I watched a movie on our new 40" tv, then we rang in 2011 with Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark. We went to bed around 1 am. On New Year's Day, I had invited my parents as well as Rachel and Tim over for dinner. Last year, I began a new tradition of cooking a turkey for New Year's. This year, we had turkey, dressing, green bean casserole, black-eyed peas, cranberry sauce, and gravy, and I made a fudgy peppermint torte for dessert. Needless to say, everyone was stuffed after dinner! It's a lot of work, but my parents had helped us out a lot with the kids in Nov. and Dec., and this was my way of showing my appreciation.
I don't do well making resolutions, but I have a few goals this year. To begin with, Chris and both need to find new jobs. I would love some kind of job in the school system so that I could be off when the kids are out of school. Chris is looking for a marketing job. I hope to finish paying the rest of our debt off this year (most of it is gone, but we still have a bit left). I am trying to be more patient, especially with the kids. I am hoping to create healthier, tastier dinners for us. Also, I hope to add to our family this year, but I know it will take a bit to get Chris to agree to that. I would like to focus more on Chris and me and making time for ourselves. Here's to a fresh beginning!
Merry Christmas 2010!
Wow, this holiday season simply flew by for Chris and me. I began my holiday season by quitting Hallmark. It was a nice job, but it simply didn't pay enough for me to continue. Ok, so technically, I'm still employed by them, but my collegue took over my stores until they hire someone to take my place. I did, however, work quite a few hours at Van Adams in December. Van had told me before the holidays that I could as much as I wanted, so I took him up on that offer. Three weeks before Christmas and Christmas week, I worked over 50 hours! It was good, though, because I ended up selling $26,000 in December alone at the store, which is not bad for a part-timer! Van had his three full-time employees, plus his two regular part-time employees (including me), and he ended up hiring 3 other people for the holidays. Well, unfortunately, the holiday help wasn't as helpful as we would've hoped, but they were ok. We ended up selling 40% more than we did last year, so Van was very generous with his bonuses. He would usually give a daily bonus, then he gave a large Christmas bonus. Although both Chris and I were exhausted Christmas Eve, we knew it was well worth it.The kids ended up at Chris' parents' house and my parents' house while we worked. Chris' parents watch the kids in early to mid-December, and my parents took over the last two weeks. Although we knew it would be difficult for the kids, it's a sacrifice we make every Christmas in order to earn quite a bit for our savings. Noah spent his third birthday with my parents, who took the kids to the park and to Steak 'n Shake to celebrate. On Christmas Eve, we picked the kids up and headed to Grayson UMC for the 7 pm service. As Chris and I were sitting in the church, it became abundantly clear that we all considered this our church home. We had never officially joined when we lived in Grayson, and we have been to numerous churches in Dacula. However, as we were rejoicing in Jesus' birth, Chris and I realized that we needed to find an official church for our family again. After church, we headed to Waffle House for our annual Christmas Eve dinner, and the kids were really looking forward to going there. After dinner, we were driving home and discovered a neighborhood close to us had luminaries, so we drove through and enjoyed the sights. When we got home, the kids had baths and we put out 4 cookies and chocolate milk for Santa, and Chris sprinkled Aidan's reindeer bait in the front yard.
We awoke to a cloudy and cold Christmas morning, but sure enough, St. Nick had been to our house! The tree was filled with gifts for everyone, and the milk and cookies were gone. Chris made cinnamon toast, which was gobbled up in the dining room as we looked through our stockings. After breakfast, the gifts were opened! Katie got quite a bit of American Girl gifts--a doll bed, several outfits, and some accesories, as well as a desk for her bedroom. Aidan's Christmas was mostly DS games, as well as Transformers and Super Hero Squad. Noah had a Toy Story 3 Christmas, complete with a remote control Buzz Lightyear. I got Chris some clothes (a Nautica sweater and shirt), Epic Mickey, Donkey Kong for Wii, a new electric razor, and some speakers for his iPhone. He got me a new iPhone case (I've destroyed 2 so far), Godiva chocolate, gift cards for some date nights, and a new Coach purse. We ate a light lunch, and then headed to my parents' house for Christmas dinner. As we were driving over, the wintery mix changed to all snow, and as we ate a delicious Honey-Baked Ham dinner, the snow quickly began to accumulate. We opened many more presents there, then headed home. Once we arrived back home, Chris and the kids built a snowman for our White Christmas! It was a miracle to have about 3 inches of snow on Christmas Day in Georgia.
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